Tell me a story

Nonno post-visit post (from Termoli, Italy, the day after he left Eddie sleeping in the car at the Toronto airport):

"Tell me a story!" has been Eddie's mantra for awhile, uttered whenever there is a lull in the daily adventures, for instance when he's using the potty and doesn't want to waste precious minutes just sitting there.

Yesterday we went back to a nice little restaurant called The Butler's Pantry, on Roncy (in Toronto) for lunch.  Vincent was introduced to pita bread and hummus, and he scarfed it down like a pro, chewing and gumming those pita wedges as if his Mediterranean genes had finally gotten loose: Ahh, finally something to sink our teeth (both of them) into!

When mamma took Vinci to the bathroom to clean him off, nonno jumped the gun and said to Eddie, "Tell me a story!"  And Eddie quickly retorted, "No, you tell me a story!"  The commands were lobbied back and forth for some time, with increasing vehemence.  Finally nonno offered a deal: "OK, first you tell me a story, and then I will listen to YOU tell ME a story."   Eddie, either missing the trap or undaunted by it, agreed.

Eddie: Once upon a time there was an old woman who was very hungry.  She went to a restaurant and ate lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots--pause for breath--and lots and lots and lots and lots of food.  Then she got a tummy ache.  The end.  OK, now you tell me a story.

Nonno (violating the terms of the deal): Once upon a time, in a forest far, far away lived a panda . .

Eddie (a very demanding narratological connoisseur with exacting standards): NO! Not about a panda!  About nonno!  (Many of nonno's stories are about a brave night named Sir Eddie and his valiant steed Silver, who, occasionally with the help of Odd Job Bob, rescue nonno and/or grandma Subie and their trusty but sometimes foolish dog Basic from many catastrophes.)

Nonno: Well, the panda WAS nonno.

E, incredulous: No, he wasn't!

N, insistent and emphatic: Yes, he was.  Don't you want to hear how and why?

E, graciously accommodating: OK.

N: Nonno ate too much and got very fat, and so he turned into a panda and had to live in a bamboo forest in China.  He was lonely there and missed grandma Subie and Basic, and his son and daughter-in-law, and most of all he missed his grandsons, Eddie and Vinci.  So, he asked a wise owl what he could do to become human again, so that he could turn back to plain old nonno and see all his loved ones again.  The owl said, "You have to lose weight."  How?  By eating less, and by not eating junk food that tastes good but doesn't have much nutrition.  So, nonno-panda stopped eating candy, and cookies, and ice cream . . .

Eddie, horrified: NOOOH!  NOT ICE CREAM!

Nonno relented, conceding that life without ice cream would indeed be a worse fate than perpetual pandahood, and went on to tell how the panda then ate the good food he got for breakfast, lunch, and supper, instead of always asking for sweet snacks between meals and then refusing to eat the good, nutritious food provided at regular meals.  And so, he lost weight, became human again and flew to Toronto so that he could tell Eddie more stories.  The end.

Eddie (for whom the end is always just a new beginning): Tell me another story!